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Another Doctor's Appointment

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I had another doctor's appointment this past Thursday. It had been two months since my last appointment so I experienced big changes in the interim, and my doctor was quite impressed. I showed him that I could extend all of my fingers upward and that only my middle finger was really lagging behind. He explained that that is actually normal and is exactly what he would expect if I had undergone a surgery to my forearm muscle. Then he said "It's just your muscle now. Your nerve is healed!" That was excellent news indeed. I do think my nerve still might have some recovering to do yet, but things are looking really good. My doctor didn't even mention anything about a future surgery, so there's a good chance that I won't need one. The goal now is to heal that muscle! I am going to continue with all the healthy things I've been doing, including getting lots of sleep, eating nutritious food, exercising, and weightlifting (squats and arms with light...

Surfacing

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Ever since my injury, I've felt like I'm underwater. In the dark and unable to see, with life filtered through the deep. Muffled sounds, bubbles, confusion. I was treading water and never sure whether I would be able to breathe again. To feel safe. To be back in the world I know. Full of light and air. I was drowning. But just in the past few days, I have felt like I am finally reaching the surface, escaping that place. I am no longer surrounded by the unknown. I am filling my lungs with oxygen. I am opening my eyes and seeing the familiar colors of the world around me. I know this place and I can breathe. My body is working again and I will be okay. I am safe.

Hello Pointer Finger and Thumb!

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I have more exciting news! My pointer finger is now working and I am getting close to be able to extend it fully. I'm so excited. Additional news: My thumb is also working, although it still has a ways to go. I am feeling pretty confident that it will continue to get better. Yahoo! My middle finger has also started to work, but I can tell there is something not quite right with it. Every time I try to extend it, I get a weird pulling sensation in my arm. I'm guessing the portion of the muscle that extends that finger is pretty damaged. That said, the same muscle extends the pointer, middle and ring fingers so I'm hoping there is still a chance that it might recover over time since those other fingers are mostly working. In terms of overall hand function, I am starting to feel more and more like I have my hand back and like it functions like it used to. I can't really extend my fingers up at all when I have my wrist cocked back, but otherwise things are getting c...

Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

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My cousin shared this on Facebook and I just thought it was nice. It feels meaningful to me now.

The Pace of Slow

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My healing is so slow that it's hard to notice progress, but I know I'm improving. The slow is hard, though. I want my hand to get better quickly so that I can type and turn pages and finger pick the guitar like I used too. I want my life to be back to normal. I also just want to know how my hand will be when this is all done. But instead it's just so slow. And I am so impatient. And I want to be better so badly. Every day I do my physical therapy exercises and try to strengthen my hand, while searching and searching for any sign of improvement. Wait? Is that new? Could I do that yesterday? I'm not sure. I guess I'll see in a week if I improve just that little bit more so that I can tell for sure I'm a little better. But for now I just don't know. I also worry. I know my nerve repair worked, but will it work fast enough so that my muscles don't whither away and die in the meantime. And what about my cut muscles? Are they healing? Will they ...

Typing

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Excellent new! I'm getting better at typing! Normally, I type around 70 or 75 words per minute, so I'm getting close to being just as fast as before. Even though my hand position is still a bit awkard, I'm really excited about this progress! Here's a typing test from today, about 5 months after my injury. Yay! April 3, 2018 And here's my typing test from about a month ago, just over 4 months after my injury. So much improvement! March 6, 2018

Another Doctor's Appointment

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Yesterday, I had another appointment with my orthopeadic surgeon so he could evaluate my progress. The last time I saw him I couldn't extend my fingers or thumb at all so the first thing he asked me was if I could "do any new tricks." When I showed him that I could extend my pinky and ring finger he was genuinely delighted since that means that my nerve repair surgery was a success, which was never a guarantee. He was definitely happy for me, but I'm sure he was also pleased on a personal level since that means he did good work. Because I am still making progress, he said that there is no rush to do a tendon transfer and he is happy to continue seeing how things progress. We can basically wait until it seems like my functionality is no longer improving and then evaluate if we want to do the surgery. During my appointment I also asked him if I can start weightlifting with my right arm, which I really want to do because I feel like it's important to keep a...