Clapping and Shaking Hands
Most days, this doesn't mattter much, but I was recently at a conference for work where I met lots of people and where there was lots of clapping. I knew that would be the case so I had sort of been dreading the conference for weeks. I was having trouble imagining what it would be like to give awkward handshakes for 3 days straight. How exhausting was it going to be? Would people notice? What would they think of me?
At the conference, I'm sure a few people noticed my handshakes, but I'm pretty sure no one noticed my clapping. I am also sure it shouldn't matter at all. Why should it matter that my handshake isn't perfect or that my clap isn't the most ideal. Who the hell cares? It doesn't influence my abilities or even my life most of the time. And yet, it's hard not to feel normal, even in these small ways, especially since I feel like I pretty much blended in before.
I spent some time googling to try to find articles on why it's hard to be different and on why we conform, but I didn't come up with much worth sharing so I'll just share a few obvious reasons instead:
- Fear of being the center of attention in regards to the thing that makes you different
- Fear of being ostricized or bullied
- Desire to be loved and accepted despite being different
Okay, all of these things make sense, of course, but as they relate to work a conference, did I really have anything to worry about? None of my colleagues were going to bully me or treat me differently because my handshake or clap is weird. We're all grown up now and in a professional setting, but I guess the fears and desires that you develop on the playground never really go away.*
Anyways, as my arm heals and my hand gets better I know some of my challenges might go away, but this experience has certainly given me some food for thought about differences, disability, and the like.
As a little more food for thought, here is at least one article that shows why it's bad that people fear being different.
Fear of Being Different Stifles Talent
Huh. So tons of people are covering all the things big and small that make them different. Sounds like we've got a lot of work to do.
*Just wanted to add that I know sometimes people do get singled out, disrespected, and worse for their differences in their workplaces. Just sharing my own experience with my company.
At the conference, I'm sure a few people noticed my handshakes, but I'm pretty sure no one noticed my clapping. I am also sure it shouldn't matter at all. Why should it matter that my handshake isn't perfect or that my clap isn't the most ideal. Who the hell cares? It doesn't influence my abilities or even my life most of the time. And yet, it's hard not to feel normal, even in these small ways, especially since I feel like I pretty much blended in before.
I spent some time googling to try to find articles on why it's hard to be different and on why we conform, but I didn't come up with much worth sharing so I'll just share a few obvious reasons instead:
- Fear of being the center of attention in regards to the thing that makes you different
- Fear of being ostricized or bullied
- Desire to be loved and accepted despite being different
Okay, all of these things make sense, of course, but as they relate to work a conference, did I really have anything to worry about? None of my colleagues were going to bully me or treat me differently because my handshake or clap is weird. We're all grown up now and in a professional setting, but I guess the fears and desires that you develop on the playground never really go away.*
Anyways, as my arm heals and my hand gets better I know some of my challenges might go away, but this experience has certainly given me some food for thought about differences, disability, and the like.
As a little more food for thought, here is at least one article that shows why it's bad that people fear being different.
Fear of Being Different Stifles Talent
Huh. So tons of people are covering all the things big and small that make them different. Sounds like we've got a lot of work to do.
*Just wanted to add that I know sometimes people do get singled out, disrespected, and worse for their differences in their workplaces. Just sharing my own experience with my company.
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