Severed Nerve Recovery Blog

Things are good! I've made a ton of progress, which you can see in this fancy video!

I had another doctor's appointment this past Thursday. It had been two months since my last appointment so I experienced big changes in the interim, and my doctor was quite impressed. I showed him that I could extend all of my fingers upward and that only my middle finger was really lagging behind. He explained that that is actually normal and is exactly what he would expect if I had undergone a surgery to my forearm muscle. Then he said "It's just your muscle now. Your nerve is healed!" That was excellent news indeed. I do think my nerve still might have some recovering to do yet, but things are looking really good. My doctor didn't even mention anything about a future surgery, so there's a good chance that I won't need one. The goal now is to heal that muscle! I am going to continue with all the healthy things I've been doing, including getting lots of sleep, eating nutritious food, exercising, and weightlifting (squats and arms with light

Ever since my injury, I've felt like I'm underwater. In the dark and unable to see, with life filtered through the deep. Muffled sounds, bubbles, confusion. I was treading water and never sure whether I would be able to breathe again. To feel safe. To be back in the world I know. Full of light and air. I was drowning. But just in the past few days, I have felt like I am finally reaching the surface, escaping that place. I am no longer surrounded by the unknown. I am filling my lungs with oxygen. I am opening my eyes and seeing the familiar colors of the world around me. I know this place and I can breathe. My body is working again and I will be okay. I am safe.

I have more exciting news! My pointer finger is now working and I am getting close to be able to extend it fully. I'm so excited. Additional news: My thumb is also working, although it still has a ways to go. I am feeling pretty confident that it will continue to get better. Yahoo! My middle finger has also started to work, but I can tell there is something not quite right with it. Every time I try to extend it, I get a weird pulling sensation in my arm. I'm guessing the portion of the muscle that extends that finger is pretty damaged. That said, the same muscle extends the pointer, middle and ring fingers so I'm hoping there is still a chance that it might recover over time since those other fingers are mostly working. In terms of overall hand function, I am starting to feel more and more like I have my hand back and like it functions like it used to. I can't really extend my fingers up at all when I have my wrist cocked back, but otherwise things are getting c

My cousin shared this on Facebook and I just thought it was nice. It feels meaningful to me now.

My healing is so slow that it's hard to notice progress, but I know I'm improving. The slow is hard, though. I want my hand to get better quickly so that I can type and turn pages and finger pick the guitar like I used too. I want my life to be back to normal. I also just want to know how my hand will be when this is all done. But instead it's just so slow. And I am so impatient. And I want to be better so badly. Every day I do my physical therapy exercises and try to strengthen my hand, while searching and searching for any sign of improvement. Wait? Is that new? Could I do that yesterday? I'm not sure. I guess I'll see in a week if I improve just that little bit more so that I can tell for sure I'm a little better. But for now I just don't know. I also worry. I know my nerve repair worked, but will it work fast enough so that my muscles don't whither away and die in the meantime. And what about my cut muscles? Are they healing? Will they

Excellent new! I'm getting better at typing! Normally, I type around 70 or 75 words per minute, so I'm getting close to being just as fast as before. Even though my hand position is still a bit awkard, I'm really excited about this progress! Here's a typing test from today, about 5 months after my injury. Yay! April 3, 2018 And here's my typing test from about a month ago, just over 4 months after my injury. So much improvement! March 6, 2018

Yesterday, I had another appointment with my orthopeadic surgeon so he could evaluate my progress. The last time I saw him I couldn't extend my fingers or thumb at all so the first thing he asked me was if I could "do any new tricks." When I showed him that I could extend my pinky and ring finger he was genuinely delighted since that means that my nerve repair surgery was a success, which was never a guarantee. He was definitely happy for me, but I'm sure he was also pleased on a personal level since that means he did good work. Because I am still making progress, he said that there is no rush to do a tendon transfer and he is happy to continue seeing how things progress. We can basically wait until it seems like my functionality is no longer improving and then evaluate if we want to do the surgery. During my appointment I also asked him if I can start weightlifting with my right arm, which I really want to do because I feel like it's important to keep a

My hand continues to improve, but there are still things I cannot do, including clapping and shaking hands normally. Most days, this doesn't mattter much, but I was recently at a conference for work where I met lots of people and where there was lots of clapping. I knew that would be the case so I had sort of been dreading the conference for weeks. I was having trouble imagining what it would be like to give awkward handshakes for 3 days straight. How exhausting was it going to be? Would people notice? What would they think of me? At the conference, I'm sure a few people noticed my handshakes, but I'm pretty sure no one noticed my clapping. I am also sure it shouldn't matter at all. Why should it matter that my handshake isn't perfect or that my clap isn't the most ideal. Who the hell cares? It doesn't influence my abilities or even my life most of the time. And yet, it's hard not to feel normal, even in these small ways, especially since I feel

I'm sorry work, you are not my main priority. I'm sorry house cleaning, you are not my main concern. I'm sorry world, I will not be stressed. All I will let myself care about is healing my body: sleeping eight hours, eating nutritious foods, working out, doing physical therapy, finding happiness, relaxing. This is all that matters right now.

I have amazing news! My pinky and ring finger have suddenly awoken and are no longer being giant lazy bums! But for real, I can now extend my pinky and ring finger, and I am so excited. This means that my nerve repair was a success, which was never a guarantee. Joy!!! Now the waiting game continues in hopes that my remaining fingers and thumb come back quickly before the muscles atrophy too much, and also in hopes that my injured muscles repaired themselves enough that I can use my hand. Let the [slightly more hopeful] waiting continue.

Hello everyone! Meet Turbo Arm! About a month ago my physical therapist made me this crazy custom brace, which I have taken to calling my turbo arm or bionic arm. The brace basically functions to pull the joint at the base of my finger up so I can extend my fingers and have more functionality. At first, I was hesitant to get the brace because it is rather giant and cost $300, but my physical therapist was insistent. I'm glad he was because I actually think the brace is awesome. I wear it between 2 and 4 hours a day (mostly at home or when I'm hidden away in my office) and it does help my hand function more like normal. Also, my physical therapist was telling me last Thursday that using the brace allows me to use my hand and fingers like I used to, which also prevents my brain from entirely remapping the use of my hand. Sounds kind of weird, but the nerve regrows so slowly that the brain can kind of forget how to use the hand like it did before. The brace will ho

Improvement with my hand is slow, almost imperceptible, but as the weeks progress I find I can do more and more. Here are some things I can do now without a problem: Use chopsticks. I was pleased to learn this during a sushi dinner with Ryan in Berkeley. Thanks for the picture, Ryan! Use silverware Cut with a knife Write (!) Open bottles if the lid isn't too tight Carry things Braid my hair. I did this for the first time yesterday, and I was very excited. Put on makeup Put on a bra Strum the guitar. I am even starting to be able to fingerpick a little. Sleep normally with my arm tucked under the pillow the way I like it. Unlock a door with a key Tie my shoes These might seem like small things, but when I was able to do each one again, they seemed like big victories. Things are good!

Here's a video to show you where I am with my hand movement, as of January 11. I no longer have to wear the blue brace, but I hadn't stopped yet when I took this.

This past Monday, I had my third post-operative appointment with my doctor, and it went pretty well. When the appointment started, my doctor said that in February we should begin discussing timing for a potential tendon transfer survery. Normally it would be early to discuss the surgery, but because I severed a nerve and have serious muscle damage to the extensor muscles in my arm (a few muscles were completely severed), the surgery was nearly a definite. Then we got into the appointment and the doctor started looking at my arm and where I'm at with my functionality. That is when things got interesting. When he asked me to try to move my fingers back in a particular way, he thought I was able to do movements that showed that my nerve was recovering. Based on everything I've read, it would be quite miraclulous if that is true, but that is what he thought. Also, when he felt my arm as I was doing particular movements, he thought that he could feel my extensor muscles mo

In October, I sufffered an arm injury. It was an accident. I slipped and fell and cut my arm. I was sober, possibly a little tired, but I don't think anyone would say that I am to blame for what happened. Even though I have employer-provided health insurance, my injury cost me $5,626.21 out-of-pocket in 2017 . Here's a list of the costs so far, although things could still post to my account. The urgent care bill just got added two weeks ago: Urgent Care - $903.05 Surgery - $2524.35 Anethesiologist $918.54 Orthopeadic Doctor Appointments and Custom Arm Splint - $840.27 Physical Therapy - 11 sessions - $440 I was able to pay this $5,626.21 without it disrupting my life too much, but I think often about what I would do if I was less fortunate, or if I had a family to support. It's insane to have to pay this much money out-of-pocket for an average person. Plus, next year, I will likely have another more complicated surgery and lots more physical therapy. M

A few days ago, we welcomed in 2018. Thank goodness! 2017 was a bad year for pretty much everone I know, including myself obviously. Now that it's a new year, I am looking forward to getting better and having at least some use of my hand back. I'm also looking forward to knowing more about where I will land when this is all over. Not knowing is almost as hard as having the injury, in a weird way. Here's what I have in store this year: Follow-up visits with my doctor to assess how I'm healing Continuing my physical therapy to maintain joint movement Springtime tests to see how/if my nerve us recovering A potential summertime visit to Chicago to see family and friends and enjoy Chicago in its most glorious state A June vacation to Yellowstone with my sister and her family. Plus, a visit to Billy and Virgia in the Grand Tetons. Yay! Probable tendon transfer surgery in the late summer or fall  Recovery from surgery in the fall Christmas in Phoenix with Jim

In December, we headed off to Arizona for an 80th birthday party for Jim's mom and stepdad. To get there, we flew round-trip from San Luis Obispo to Phoenix. This meant I had to deal with my arm situation when I went through airport security. This wasn't that difficult, but I did want to share my experience. On the way there, I left my brace on through security and the scanner. This meant that they had to fully swab my brace in order to ensure that there was no explosive residue on it. Kind of weird, but not a big deal. At the Phoenix airport on the way back, they asked me if i could take my brace off, and if so, to please remove it. Since I remove my splint everyday to shower, I took my brace off, kept my splint sleeve on, and went through security. This was ultimately a mistake. After I went through the scanner they had to pat my arm down, which was very scary since moving my wrist in any way would be very bad. When I told her to be very careful and not move my wrist,